paranoid....

i am paranoid.
i am scared.
i am trembling.

i asked amir and yatt how are we going to continue our life without mama and papa...
i haven't got the answer yet...
but...right now...my guts are challenging me...my heart are questioning me...myself are lost again...

i thought...

• it would be cool to hang out till late at night without the annoying beeps and rings from the phone from 'PAPACOOL' asking my whereabout and when to be back...but wud it still be fun when the phone doesn't make the annoying sound because there is just no one to care?
• to dress any way i want without nobody telling me it's wrong...would it still be fun if it is because there is also nobody to tell me what i wear is nice and beautiful and makes my day?
• to fail in exam without feeling guilty and scared of disappointing them...will i still be happy if they are not around to say,"It's ok Haniz...bukan rezeki Haniz...try again next time..." i bet i will live with the guilt when they are not around...gosh!!!it sux...
• to go back home without no one in the house...with or without them...it is NOT GOOD at all!!!!!!

i am scared...i am sad... i am confused...they are getting old...yes...i can accept that fact...but they are sick...i am NOT OK with that...

i know it all comes from the Almighty...well...i am hoping that Allah will ease their pain...will give them health...will give me the chance to redeem my wrongdoings towards them and be a good daughter as much as they dream of...

life goes on...

* To mama and papa...I LOVE YOU.

exam o exam...

damn...
the exam is near...
and i dunno shit bout what i know and what i don't...
ayin has been trying to convince me that everything gonna be ok...
i guess everything is ok...
but it's me who's not ok...
i need self motivation right now...
i need the old me...
i need strength...
most of all...
i need to repent!
dush!

it sucks

TELL ME ABOUT IT....

man u vs chelsea

yeay!!!
man u wins last night!!!
a complete match?
1st half was controlled by man u...
2nd half was like watching only chelsea playing the ball...
red card for drogba...
unscored penalty from ronaldo...(wtf???)
extra penalty...
and others...
despite the fact that i am happy that man u wins...
i'm just not in the mood to write...
so man u fans...YEAY!!!!!
to chels...better luck next time!!!muahahahaha!!!!

game night...

last night was taboo night at emran's place...
at first i was soooo malas to go...
since the exam is like 3 inches away...
but...considering the chaos in my head right now...
i plan to give it a break (ya rite.......)
i met set (excuse the spelling,k!!!) and he was not in my team...
tp die klaka gile,ok!!!!
i can't forget this one description he was trying to explain...







the word :DRAG...
i can't remember the taboo words...
and he described it this way:
what do we call the action when...
you take the cat's tail...
and then u run away with it...

sangat xrelevan,huh!!!
but then we laugh our heart out since byk lg kot..
explanation lain u can actually use!!!
but note to the cat lovers:i don't think he ever did that to any cat... (which i doubt it also...)

all in all i enjoy that night...heheh...
nice meeting you,guys!!!
call me in for next taboo night!!

i miss...

where are you???
i miss him...because...
he was there...
BACK then...
maybe i was the one who let him go...
where are you my dear friend?
mish yah!!

wooooooozaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

this was taken from the muvie bad boysII...
aku xkuasa nak cite how and when they use it...
but i am using it when:

• bile aku bebeeeeeeeel pjg2 kat amir explaining things and then he look at me and said,HAH??
• when my spinster boss get coo-coo and emo x tentu pasal.well...i hear you bitch!!lonely,eyh??
• my phone rang,and my mom on the other line trying her best to annoy me!!!
• aku study...then bile wat exercise aku xleh nk jwb...urgh!!!PELUPE...dush!!
• when i'm driving in various situation it can be....
• bile aku bgn pagi nakg keja...heheh....
• bile kakak aku tgh good mood...ini adalah kerana she will get loads of ideas to annoy me!!!(she got that from my mom!!) when she's in her OBSESSION yg pelbagai tu...
• right now.bile aku depress with many things in my head..

and of course..

• WHEN I'M BROKE!!! (which is basically all the time?huhu...)