i just dun feel like...

shud i say more?

shud i leave now?

shud i just stop hoping?

shud i keep it to myself?

coz...i just dun feel like...

no guts...

just read ayin's blog...
pasal komen yg die 'jamak' kan trus tu..
hehe..
about my entry tribute to papa...
still trying to find the guts to write about papa...
because i always ends up suffocate...
guess i am not strong yet to write about it...
or maybe i am still in denial..
i dunno...
but...life goes on...
will come back on it...
hehe

nice one!

"zaf...feels like hanging out in kl today?"
"in the office la.."
"nah...be there in 10 mins...tell dave u got migraine or anything"
"hah??"
so...he was with me settling my errands...always nice to have sumone accompanying me doing all the matters...
to k.zila's sis hse...then tm point...then car wash...then sunway college...then uitm...
none of the above involve any kopitiam, shopping mall, mc d or any other hot spot to chill...as some might say...heh
but it was fun!!!
"crazy la u..."
"wat did u tell dave"
"migraine?"
"wat did he say"
"come back tomorrow?"
fun...
thanks zaf for your time,ya!!!
and also thanks for buying me those books!!
"have you watched syurga cinta?"
"nope..i tunggu die kua astro je time raya nnt"
"bought the dvd last night"
"no you didn't!!"
"for my 'mental' sis laa" (sorry ayin!!!hahaha!!)
"why syurga cinta?"
"she got this 'movie night' there..so,kinda getting over their homesick by watching the malays?"
and both of us...
"LEMMAHHH LEMBUUUTTT!!!!"
fun zaf...fun...

tribute to my papa (episode 3)

oh, where... oh, where...
can my baby be...
the lord took him away from me...
he's gone to heaven...
so i've got to be good...
so i can see my baby when i leave this world...

i was looking for you pa...
hoping you would come in my dreams...
you would come next to me...
but i guess i was looking too far...
you are always here with me...
your blood are in my veins...
your traits are in us...
i should have known...
i just miss you so much,pa...

yang dulu usah dirindu...
hilangkanlah demi kasihmu...
doaku buatmu kekasih...

"Pa!! ramli sarip la!!!
suara kena betull!!!"
yep...i miss that moment...
keep on playing in my head whenever i miss you...
i will not hurt myself missing you...
i will make you happy by praying for you...
i hope it reaches you...

seumpama rama-rama...
terbang bebas di udara tanpa ada halangan...
riang ria tanpa ada...
rasa duka sengketa...

i hope you'll be free like your favorite song there...
i hope you won't feel any pain out there...
ayin told me that you'll be given a 'hijab' to see us here...
pls laugh when i made a joke...
pls be proud when i do something good...
pls dun be mad when i tease mama, ayin and adik2...
pls forgive me if i forgot to be a good girl...
i love u,pa...

di pondok kecil...di pantai ombak...
berbuih putih...beralun-alun...
di suatu hari ayah berkata...
jaga adikmu...
ayah kan pergi jauh...

pa...u never told me that...
u never let me know that you are leaving us...
but i promise you i will take care of adik2...
jauh sungguh papa pegi...
i miss u...

video released..

to elin n k.ros..
as per requested..
haha!!
to the rest..enjoy!!



*no kodok was harmed during the making of this video.

Cheer up..

To Yatt..
Hari ini kau datang riang..
Tersenyum buatku senang..
Kau hias dirimu..
Membuat hati bertambah sayang..
Tapi semalam wajahmu muram..
Mengapa dewi mengapa..
Adakah au bersalah..
Cubalah dewi katakan..
Jangan dewi..jangan begitu..
Senyum..senyumlah selalu..
Manis..riang..
wajah bertambah ceria!!

remember this song?
then remember how much i hate to see you CRY!

enough.

I am DONE with all these drama of crying and heartbreaks..
Laugh at me all you want..
I am tumbling down now but...
i guarantee you i am not a quitter..
i have people that i know they will love me unconditionally..
i will stand up tall..
i will move forward without looking back anymore..
i will live my life only with people who'll appreciate me..
i will not break down and cry over this pathetic old me..